Jessica (randomjessica) wrote,

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I am so insanely happy that this year is over. It has been by far my best at Gap, but it was still bad. I will try not to dwell on that.
I think that it is really intereseting how much people at school do not know about each other. I know secrets are shared adn no one has privacy and everyone is mean and hateful and everyone gets their feelings hurts and gets talked about behind their backs. But, we don't actually know anything really about each other.
I don't think i want people at school to know me, I mean know the real me. I don't think anyone does, and I don't think I do, really. I kinda actually like the fact taht no one knows stuff about me. Aside from the fact that I truelly believe most of them would use it against me, I jsut like it this way. I know that if people knew me, and my family and such, most of them would never let me change. At our school it's like once you say something, you can never take it back and change what you think. If you think something once, and they know, you are forever the person that thinks that. I just don't want the freedom of change to be taken from me.
Anyway, today got slightly better this afternoon.
I am really happy this year is over though. Maybe next year I will be more social and such, but I doubt it. I know I have complained about not talking to people and them not talking to me, and yeah, sometimes it really sucks to see everyone else with friends and dates and lives. But, I wouldn't trade it. IT's not like people will become magically nice over night.
I doubt I would be accepted for myself any way, and that would just be giving people ways to be mean to me.
I know I'm not making very much sense, I just didn't mean to complain that I don't have people to hang out with. I'm not willing to pretend to be someone else just to be friends.

I hope everyone does well on their exams, Good luck! Have a wonderful summer!
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