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I cannot stand my life this way.... [08 Mar 2007|04:15pm]
I am a horrible person.
1 comment|post comment

Funny IM Conversation [19 Nov 2006|11:30am]
pancake says:
The Peanut Gallery says:
The Peanut Gallery says:
where should we good
pancake says:
do u have a campus map?
The Peanut Gallery says:
pancake says:
haha wanna come up?
pancake says:
and verfy mine?
pancake says:
i have a crack on my computer
pancake says:
i hate it
pancake says:
it bothers me
pancake says:
its on my screen
pancake says:
kinda int he middle
The Peanut Gallery says:
that's...bad how did you get...yeah, we can
pancake says:
pancake says:
youre talking funny
pancake says:
"where should we good?" "how did you get?"
pancake says:
are you preoccupied?
pancake says:
are you having sex?
The Peanut Gallery says:
The Peanut Gallery says:
yes....i am hainvg sex with ian
pancake says:
with IAN?!!!
pancake says:
i knew it... you were naked when he knocked again weren't you?
pancake says:
and he couldn't resist your boobs
pancake says:
ahaha is he reading this?
The Peanut Gallery says:
yeah...that's right...my HUGE boobs
pancake says:
pancake says:
are you like having sex while typing this?
pancake says:
you muli-talented girl
The Peanut Gallery says:
i know...right.....good sex too
pancake says:
ah yea? lucky girl
pancake says:
finally found your fuck buddy?
The Peanut Gallery says:
um...the lights are off on the IM field so we may be able to see from there
The Peanut Gallery says:
no, lucky Ian
pancake says:
The Peanut Gallery says:
he is trying to read too, but can't read your font
pancake says:
oo does he know what we're talking about?
pancake says:
is my font too small?
pancake says:
The Peanut Gallery says:
yes....yes...and curvey
The Peanut Gallery says:
not better
pancake says:
The Peanut Gallery says:
um...a little
pancake says:
this one is even more curvy
The Peanut Gallery says:
ok...he can read it though
pancake says:
The Peanut Gallery says:
pancake says:
i can't even read it
The Peanut Gallery says:
well....we are the ones multi tasking anyway
The Peanut Gallery says:
i'm even talking to mymom online
pancake says:
pancake says:
pancake says:
ahaha while having sex?!
pancake says:
or ont he phone?
The Peanut Gallery says:
yeah...except she doesn't know
The Peanut Gallery says:
pancake says:
The Peanut Gallery says:
so...should we go soon?
The Peanut Gallery says:
we are almost done here
pancake says:
you should just type the words ooOo
The Peanut Gallery says:
more like OOOOOO
pancake says:
aww does ian not last that long
The Peanut Gallery says:
and an....OOO
The Peanut Gallery says:
what......you have no idea when we started
pancake says:
oo wow... really
pancake says:
so is this the second time or something?
The Peanut Gallery says:
or third...
pancake says:
wow now thats pretty impressive
The Peanut Gallery says:
that's not all that is impressive about ian
pancake says:
are you doing it on nikki's bed?
The Peanut Gallery says:
pancake says:
The Peanut Gallery says:
pancake says:
why not thats like her only rule tho
pancake says:
with her orgasmic sheets
The Peanut Gallery says:
The Peanut Gallery says:
so...should we go??
The Peanut Gallery says:
we just have to get dressed now
The Peanut Gallery says:
though, i kinda like walking around naked with Ian
pancake says:
well are you still coming up here?
The Peanut Gallery says:
we can...
pancake says:
or am i going down there?
pancake says:
pancake says:
well i'll meet you up here then... fully dressed i hope
pancake says:
it starts at 1030?
The Peanut Gallery says:
ok....give us a minute
pancake says:
The Peanut Gallery says:
well..it doesn't have a set schedule..it is all night and the peak should be around now to then
pancake says:
now to 1030?
pancake says:
o wow we should be going then
pancake says:
what are we waiting for?!
pancake says:
hurry your naked butts up here!
pancake says:
or i'll be going down to you
The Peanut Gallery says:
you come down!
The Peanut Gallery says:
pancake says:
fine well your gonna have to trust me that east in on the IM fields then
The Peanut Gallery says:
we have a map
The Peanut Gallery says:
i found it....during sex even
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Hmm. [18 Nov 2006|07:54pm]
To work or to sleep, that is the question.
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[10 Nov 2005|11:46pm]
[ mood | tired as hell ]

I think I have a sinus infection. Damn it.
TOmorrow I am going to the Star Wars thing...then on Sat. I am going to usher...maybe help Rachel and her mom.....and then study with Cari and people, hopefully for APES and AP Lit. Sunday us the play....
I am so fucking tired. ONly a little more homework left, and I think I might just skip it. It isn't like I actually care.
I have to meet with Mrs. White, for hopefully the last time and get my advisor switched. Yayness.
I have been fighting with my mom all day. She is so fucking stressful!

have to go to bed now...but maybe I will get a chance to write more tomorrow...which is in a few minutes....shit

4 comments|post comment

Don't Read....Boring [07 Oct 2005|08:29pm]
[ mood | tired and stressed ]

So...the SAT is tomorrow...and I refuse to stress about it. This week pretty much sucked all around, with Monday making it slightly better, so I am not going to worry. It will only like determine my future, which doesn't look too bright right now anyway....ok. I'm bitching. Which is the other thing I have to say. I am so sick of all this high school shit and all the bitching about stuff that doesn't matter. I just don't care b/c i am not taht connected to most of the stuff happening and I will leave at the end of the year w/o wanting to be connected or make an impact. It is hard for me to understand.

I am also sick of all the talking about how close our class is. Apparently we all hang out and are all close and friends and shit.....maybe they don't even know I am in the class. THat is how it feels alot. I am not trying to complain, b/c I don't want to just start hanging out with ppl b/c we will graduate together when they never liked me before nad don't want to hang out with me. I just kinda feel like they are rubbing it in my face that I am not wanted in the group. Oh well.....I need to be focusing on the fact that my grades are sliping and I have college apps to fill out anyway.

So, i have to performe tomorrow night...and then I am going to work this weekend....and hopefully get two apps done. I know, I'm boring....this is probably why I don't get invited to parties. I will next year...or I will just go anyway. I am really looking forward to the fresh start of college...and the distance from my family. I will really miss my dad though.

So how is everyone else? Stressed? We should start a club.

2 comments|post comment

[19 Sep 2005|09:15pm]
[ mood | cranky ]

I am so going to fail and never make it to college. This is cruel and unusual punishment. I would rather have never thought I had a chance than to make it this far to screw it up. I am such a retard. Tomorrow had better be better.......the year was going by really well. Today just went to shit.

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Isolation [20 Aug 2005|11:04pm]
[ mood | worried ]

long and stupidCollapse )

1 comment|post comment

Stupid Mean People [17 Aug 2005|04:58pm]
[ mood | shitty ]

I hate dealing with mean people. That don't care about how they make other people feel. That don't have anycommon respect or courtesy or decency....or anything like the sort.
Today was kinda....sucky.
Tomorrow will be better.
How is everyone else? (You can actually answer this question if you want to.)
I am off to be in my pissy mood, which i am only in b/c everyone i have been around all day were pissy and mean and now I cannot be happy b/c i am trying not to cry.
I am complaining and must stop.

2 comments|post comment

Another Great Day [16 Aug 2005|05:38pm]
[ mood | hungry ]

Today was awesome as well as yesterday. This year is starting off really well.
I can barely move, my feet really hurt, and my sun burn is killing me, but it was really great. Yesterday we cleaned up the courts in the morning and watched a movie. Then in the afternoon we played alittle tennis. Today, we did some strenuous warm-ups, and then played tennis. This afternoon we went swimming, b/c Grove said the thunder made it too dangerous to play. Hummmm...
So anyway, it was really great.
I am trying to get in the habit of updating more often so that I keep a good journal and such.
I should eb reading. I am such a slacker.
It is slowly hitting me the people that wil not be around this year, and that I really am at the top of the school ( as a senior). Like people on the tennis team, or foreign students that only came for a year. IT is kinda sad.
I am off to eat and then read, yeah right.
I hope everyone else is good as well.
I feel like I am definitely doing better at just being me this year. I have always felt like everyone else is so confident and knows who they are, while I am hiding from the world in my little shell. Well, I took a sledge hammer to my damn shell. HOpefully it will turn out well.

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More Questions! [29 Jul 2005|08:45am]
[ mood | better ]

01. Tell me something obvious about yourself.
02. Tell me something about yourself that I don't know.
03. What is your biggest fear?
04. Do you normally take the safe route or the shortcut?
05. What is the one thing you want the most that you can't buy with money?
06. What is your most treasured possession?
07. What is the one thing you hate most about yourself that you do the most often?
08. Tell me something about you sexually that I don't know.
09. Tell me something about you sexually that everybody knows.
10. What is your favorite lie to tell?
11. Name something you have done once that you can't wait to do again.
12. Are you the jealous type?
13. What is the one person, place or thing that you can never say 'no' to?
14. What is the nicest thing someone has ever done for you?
15. If you could do something crazy right now, what would it be?
16. When was the last time you cried?
17. When was the last time you felt so good that nothing else mattered?
18. Do you feel comfortable in public with no shirt on?
19. Name something embarrassing you did while drunk/high/whatever.
20. If you post this in your journal, do you want me to answer it?

1 comment|post comment

Question Thing I Stole [28 Jul 2005|04:02pm]
[ mood | groggy ]

**You can ask me up to 5 questions!***

**No matter how, rude, random, sexual, or pointless**

**I promise to answer them 100% truthfully**

repost this..and see what people ask you

2 comments|post comment

Quis I Stole [23 Jul 2005|03:48pm]
Advanced Global Personality Test Results
Extraversion |||||||||||| 46%
Stability |||||||||||||| 56%
Orderliness |||||||||||||| 60%
Altruism |||||||||||||||| 63%
Interdependence |||||||||||||||| 70%
Intellectual |||||||||||||||||||| 83%
Mystical |||||||||| 36%
Artistic |||||| 30%
Religious |||||||||||||||||||| 83%
Hedonism |||||||||||| 50%
Materialism |||| 16%
Narcissism |||||||||||| 50%
Adventurousness |||||||||||||||| 70%
Work ethic |||||||||||||||| 70%
Self absorbed |||||||||| 36%
Conflict seeking |||| 16%
Need to dominate |||||| 30%
Romantic |||||| 23%
Avoidant |||||||||||| 43%
Anti-authority |||||||||||||| 56%
Wealth |||||||||||| 43%
Dependency |||| 16%
Change averse |||||||||||||||| 70%
Cautiousness |||||||||||||||||| 76%
Individuality |||||||||||||||| 63%
Sexuality |||||||||||||||| 70%
Peter pan complex |||||||||| 36%
Physical security |||||||||||||||||||| 90%
Physical Fitness |||||||||||||||| 64%
Histrionic |||||||||| 36%
Paranoia |||||||||||| 50%
Vanity |||||||||||||| 56%
Hypersensitivity |||||||||||| 43%
Female cliche |||||||||||||||||| 76%
Take Free Advanced Global Personality Test
personality tests by similarminds.com
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Took A Quiz [11 Jul 2005|10:31am]
[ mood | contemplative ]

Your brain: 60% interpersonal, 80% visual, 100% verbal, and 160% mathematical!
Congratulations on being 400% smart! Actually, on my test, everyone is. The above score breaks down what kind of thinking you most enjoy doing. A score above 100% means you use that kind of thinking more than average, and a score below 100% means you use it less. It says nothing about how good you are at any one, just how interested you are in each, relatively. A substantial difference in scores between two people means, conclusively, that they are different kinds of thinkers.

Matching Summary: Each of us has different tastes. Still, I offer the following advice, which I think is obvious:

  1. Don't date someone if your interpersonal percentages differ by more than 80%.
  2. Don't be friends with someone if your verbal percentages differ by more than 100%.
  3. Don't have sex with someone if their math percentage is over 200%.

My test tracked 4 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender:

free online dating free online dating
You scored higher than 42% on interpersonal

free online dating free online dating
You scored higher than 42% on visual

free online dating free online dating
You scored higher than 71% on verbal

free online dating free online dating
You scored higher than 75% on mathematical
Link: The 4-Variable IQ Test written by chriscoyne on Ok Cupid
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[14 Jun 2005|12:14pm]
[ mood | hyper ]

I am a d10

Take the quiz at dicepool.com

So, I'm a little bored. How is everyone else?
4 comments|post comment

My Lack of a Life [11 Jun 2005|09:23am]
[ mood | blank ]

I haven't updated in forever so I thought I would try to find something to say.
I hope everyone's summer is going well! Mine has been long and painful with alot of family time thus far. I have high hopes that it will get better soon though.
All I have been up to is watching movies and playing tennis, witha little swimming in the middle. I really need a life.
This weekend we are doing housework and going to my brother's baseball game. It shouldn't be too bad.
IT hasn't fully it me that I am a senior and that next year's graduation will be me walking across the stage. I know next year is going to be really hard for me, but I am hoping the excitement of getting out of that school will help me get through it. I have been looking forward to this for a long time.
Some "friends" of the family are visiting in the beinging of July, and I am dreading it. I never wanted to see these people when I lived near them, and now they will be in my house for five days. They, I am told, haven't changed, and I never liked them before. I know they are going to ask me alot of questions, and I am giong to have to lie. I hate lieing!
We were supposed to go out for breakfast this morning, but I am guessing that isn't going to happen now.Hmmmm..

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[27 May 2005|12:18am]
[ mood | weird ]

I'm a SENIOR!!!
It doesn't feel real at all.

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Survey Thing [21 May 2005|06:20pm]
[ mood | bored ]

:x: name = Jessica
:x: piercings = Ears 2
:x: tattoos = None
:x: height= 5ft 7
:x: shoe size = 8ish
:x: hair color = dark blonde
:x: siblings = five sisters and four brothers (it's complicated)


:x: movie you rented = closer and Star Wars the original (it has harison ford)
:x: movie you bought = i can't remember
:x: song you listened to = forever young
:x: song that was stuck in your head = i don't know the name of it....
:x: cd you bought = rod stewart
:x: cd you listened to = killers
:x: person you've called =brandon
:x: person that's called you = Racheal
:x: tv show you've watched = Law and Order SVU
:x: person you were thinking of = ......
[spill your guts]

:x: you have a crush on someone = Yep!
:x: you wish you could live somewhere else = YES
:x: you think about suicide = not really...but have before
:x: you believe in online dating = not for me
:x: others find you attractive = not really
:x: you want more piercings = i dont know
:x: you like cleaning = sometimes..when in the mood
:x: you like roller coasters = sometimes
:x: you write in cursive or print = print

[take a stand]

:x: long distance relationships = don't know....not for me anyway
:x: using someone = happens but it shouldn't
:x: suicide = it's your life, but i think that alot of times it isn't the answer to a temporary problem
:x: killing people = WRONG
:x: teenage smoking = GROSS
:x: driving drunk = assholes
:x: gay/lesbian relationships = what about them?
:x: soap operas = don't watch them


:x: ever cried over a girl= um...not that i can think of
:x: ever cried over a boy = probably
:x: ever lied to someone = yeah, but i try not to
:x: ever been in a fist fight = lol...yeah, more than once
:x: ever been arrested = sorta

[say what?]

:x: shampoo do you use = Save
:x: shoes do you wear = these ones
:x: are you scared of = not being free to be me, EVER. death. hieghts. bridges. falling.

[we’re talking numbers]

:x: of times I have been in love?= none
:x: of times I have had my heart broken? = 1
:x: of hearts I have broken? = um...like 4ish
:x: of girls I have kissed? = 1
:x: of boys I have kissed? = um...like...um...6ish
:x: of girls I've slept with? =
:x: of boys I've slept with? =
x: of people I would classify as true, could trust with my life type friends? = um...like one or two, maybe three
:x: of times my name has appeared in the newspaper?= like two
:x: of scars on my body? = 5
:x: of things in my past that I regret? = none really


:x: actor/actress: Harrison Ford, Amanda Tapping, Mraiska Hargitay,....
:x: candy: changes daily
:x: cartoon: simpsons
:x: chewing gum: um...don't know
:x: color(s): purple. pink,...
:x: color nail polish: pink
:x: day of week: wednesday (and not just b/c of school)
:x: least fave day: um...it depends....
:x: jello flavor: strawberry
:x: jewelry:
:x: special skills/talents: of mine?
:x: summer/winter: it depends on where i am

[person who last]

:x: slept in your bed: Me!
:x: saw you cry: HA
:x: made you cry: school
:x: you went to the movies with: Brandon
:x: yelled at you: advisor at school
:x: sent you an email: um....yeah, right

[have you ever?]

:x: said "I love you" and meant it?: probably
:x: gone out in public in your pyjamas: yeah, funny story
:x: kept a secret from everyone: YES
:x: cried because of a movie: um...not taht i will admit to
:x: ever at anytime owned new kids on the block stuff: NO
:x: planned your week based on the TV Guide: not really
:x: been on stage: Yep
:x: been to new york: Not yet...
:x: been to california: Not yet
:x: hawaii: Nope
:x: china: Nope
:x: canada: Nope
:x: wished you were the opposite sex: nope, i actually have not
:x: what time is it now?: 6:20PM
:x: apples or bananas? apples
:x: blue or red?: um...purple
:x: spring or fall? Fall probably

[lets get random]

:x: what are you gonna do after you finish this?: don't know
:x: what was the last meal you ate?: um....a BLT
:x: high school or college?: high school
:x: are you bored?: sorta
:x: last noise you heard?: Finding NEmo, nephew is watching it behind me
:x: last smell you sniffed?: um...smoke
:x: last time you went out of state/province: um...last month

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Yayness. [20 May 2005|05:31pm]
[ mood | content ]

I am so insanely happy that this year is over. It has been by far my best at Gap, but it was still bad. I will try not to dwell on that.
I think that it is really intereseting how much people at school do not know about each other. I know secrets are shared adn no one has privacy and everyone is mean and hateful and everyone gets their feelings hurts and gets talked about behind their backs. But, we don't actually know anything really about each other.
I don't think i want people at school to know me, I mean know the real me. I don't think anyone does, and I don't think I do, really. I kinda actually like the fact taht no one knows stuff about me. Aside from the fact that I truelly believe most of them would use it against me, I jsut like it this way. I know that if people knew me, and my family and such, most of them would never let me change. At our school it's like once you say something, you can never take it back and change what you think. If you think something once, and they know, you are forever the person that thinks that. I just don't want the freedom of change to be taken from me.
Anyway, today got slightly better this afternoon.
I am really happy this year is over though. Maybe next year I will be more social and such, but I doubt it. I know I have complained about not talking to people and them not talking to me, and yeah, sometimes it really sucks to see everyone else with friends and dates and lives. But, I wouldn't trade it. IT's not like people will become magically nice over night.
I doubt I would be accepted for myself any way, and that would just be giving people ways to be mean to me.
I know I'm not making very much sense, I just didn't mean to complain that I don't have people to hang out with. I'm not willing to pretend to be someone else just to be friends.

I hope everyone does well on their exams, Good luck! Have a wonderful summer!

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[20 May 2005|01:06pm]
[ mood | shitty ]

I am having yet another shitty day.
I need out of this God damn hell hole!!!

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My First Idea! [09 May 2005|05:23pm]
[ mood | thoughtful ]

May Ninth, Two thousand and five, Jessica had an idea!

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